Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Down with Love?


I love, love. I really do. I love pink. My favorite color since birth. I like red. I love hearts, diamonds, flowers, and chocolate. I like babies in gold diaper covers with a bow and arrow. I just don't really like Valentine's Day.


I don't like crowds. I don't like 'special' menus. I don't like people telling me that Valentine's Day is the day for my husband and kids to show me how much they love me. Because, inevitably, I've built up this fantastic, romanticized idea of how Valentine's Day will go, and then am disappointed.

Honestly, I'm a really lucky girl. Barry is thoughtful, and considerate, and kind 364 days out of the year. The one day he's not? V-day.

This weekend Barry painted my family room. He did all the prep work, all the painting and all of the clean up. Happy Valentine's Day to me. It looks WONDERFUL! The family room was an awful cream sponge paint. It was Ug-to-the-ly. Now? It looks fresh, clean and modern. Not like 1990 threw up on my family room.

(Excuse the mess, this was moving days)


A vast improvement, yes?

Yesterday, Julian had his Valentine's Day party at school. I didn't go. I had the other boys and well, it just didn't seem like a fun time to go to the preschool for 20 mins to wrestle Gabe, and lug Owen's heavy car seat around. I feel bad, but what are you going to do?

Instead, Gabe and I snuggled on the couch and watched his new favorite show, The Baby Show as he calls it. We call it Rugrats. Yep, Rugrats. The same show from our childhood. The same wonderful animation, the same mispronounced words from the babies. It's GREAT! Both boys, in fact, love it. Yesterday we watched an episode called Chuckie vs. the Potty. And guess what? We recreated that episode.

We'll call it Gabe vs. the Frog. His potty chair is a frog. And for MONTHS he has said he's scared of the frog. We've had maybe one, or two successes. Yesterday we took off his diaper and let him run free. He hated it. But he did pee on the frog! Yay! Here's to hoping he'll be potty-learned someday in the not too distant future.

After Barry came home, we had yummy red & white heart shaped ravioli. Thank you Costco. The boys, who for some reason despise ravioli, had heart shaped pasta from Cost Plus World Market. Julian ate 2 plates! This is remarkable because he doesn't eat. Ever.

We then went to Costco where the boys were pretty awful. And whiny. And wanted to eat the Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwiches we bought right.now.Mommy. Oy. And then on the way home, Owen was STARVING. We've never before fed that baby, or so you'd think.

Pretty much my prestigious Valentine's Day was just like any other day. Except I was disappointed. Disappointed because I built up this romance, this idealistic day. One in which Barry brought me home See's Dark Chocolate, some pretty yellow roses or lilies, and a large Diet Dr. Pepper from McDonald's (Hey it's only $1). None of that happened. Yesterday I was pretty bummed. Today, I'm less bummed, but curious.

We are supposed to be examples to our children of healthy relationships. We are supposed to be the ones that teach them how to treat others, and be a model for a married couple. Do I forsake Valentine's Day, and teach my children that? No. Because the likelihood of them (all 3 of them) meeting someone in the future that hates V-day? Not so good. Should I buy my own Valentine's so I'm not forgotten? What should I do? And really, I'm not trying to be whiny because I didn't get anything. I'm honestly and truly curious.


Jill said...

First off I would say talk to Barry. If he knows you love love but hate Valentine's Day he is thinking you don't want any gifts, even a Dr. Pepper.

Second keep doing what you are doing with the boys by showing them that you love 365 days a year not just one day a year.

Katrina said...

part of me dislikes v-day too, but I think it's because growing up we really didn't do anything about it. we as a family celebrated our love every day of the year, we did stuff at school but that was about it. I think it's important to do a little something special on v-day other wise it's just another day...BUT sometimes it's just not necessary ON v-day but it might happen the day or two before or a day or two after wards. I would talk to Barry about it and see if it was just a slip of a medical student's brain. :) I did enjoy your v-day cards from your boys though! so cute!

Kara and Colin said...

Dude, Colin's idea of this amazing Vday is paying for dinner. Seriously. I totally feel the same way about vday...always get my hopes up! lol. Put more responsibility on Barry and make him teach his boys chivalry! And you can teach your boys how to make valentines for their dad/friends/family etc. Whatever you do, good luck!

Anonymous said...

Just tell Barry what you want/expect! Also if things aren't perfect, just make it that way. When he comes home, tell him that you would love a large Diet Dr. Pepper for V-Day and will he please go pick it up now? When you go to Costco, pick out your own flowers and have Barry pay for them! I did. ;) And in the week leading up to V-Day be very clear about which chocolates you would love to receive. Barry's a stand up guy, I think he'd follow through if he knew what you wanted. And nothing guarantees success next year like guilt this year. Get him his favorite treat for V-Day and he'll feel bad for not treating you. ;)

Growing up my parents made Valentine's Day special by giving us each a card and one of those $1-$3 hearts of chocolates. They were waiting on our breakfast plates and we felt soooo special. Looking back I know it was 100% my mom's effort but she signed the card to the boy and my dad signed the cards to the girls. I think that as long as the behavior is modeled it doesn't matter which parent initiates. They'll associate feeling good and wanting to reciprocate for others.

Anyway, good luck!