Monday, November 18, 2013

Birthday Musings

Today is my birthday. My thirtieth birthday. It's strange how when you get older birthdays become less of a thing. I'm just excited to enjoy my free birthday Starbucks, Red Robin, Culver's, etc. Yesterday I was able to sleep in and woke to two very excited school aged children that had created special birthday cards just for me.
Gabriel's was so typical Kindergartener. There were phonetically spelled words, backwards numbers. Seriously y'all swoon town.

Julian was a little more serious with a drawing of Angry Birds in a heart. (Can you tell what he's into these days?)

Barry brought me one of my favorite Christmas/winter treats, Panettone in bed with a diet pepsi. He knows me or something.

I've been thinking all week on the whole age of 30. It feels so big. So accomplished. Like such a milestone. I feel like I haven't accomplished a whole lot. (Before you say it, I know. I have 4 amazing kids. They are wonderful. I love them more than pecan pie.) I could write you a laundry list of things that I haven't accomplished by age 30, and it would seriously probably take years to read and write. However that would be pessimistic and frankly extremely depressing so I'm going to go another way with it.

I'm going to write a list of 30 things that I hope to accomplish by the time I'm 31.

1. Be kind. (I realize this isn't something measurable but it's something I want to do every day, all day, my entire life.)
2. Create.
3. Run or workout at least 3 days a week.
4. Wear a bikini and not feel ashamed of my stretch marks.
5. Really & truly love myself.
6. Read more.
7. Publish my novel.
8. Blog more. Because Facebook isn't the same.
9. Run a half marathon. (I'm giving myself some leeway here. I want to be able to run 13.1 miles. I understand that I might not be able to participate in an organized half due to Barry's crappy schedule.)
10. Get a tattoo.
11. See Justin Timberlake in concert on July 30th with Nicole!
12. Go on vacation.
13. Learn to bake a pecan pie. Baking pies scares the bejesus out of me.
14. Be present.
15. Read the entire Harry Potter Series. Again.
16. Read the entire Twilight Series. Again.
17. Wear red lipstick more.
18. CC&J
19. Bloom.
20. Take more pictures.
21. Bathroom reno.
22. Hallway photo display/arrangement?
23. Sew my Harry Potter quilt for sofa.
24. NaNoWriMo 2014.
25. Visit Washington.
26. Learn how to take care of my skin. Hey I'm 30 now it's no time to slack.
27. Do something amazing for my husband.
28. Go to a game- football, baseball, soccer? Whatevs.
29. DIY my bathroom.
30. Stop biting my nails.

I don't think that accomplishing this list will make 31 seem like less of a big number. I'm not delusional. I feel like accomplishing this list will make me feel like I've done something. SOME. THING.

I'm surprised that turning 30 isn't causing as much of an emotional freakout as I was anticipating. Be prepared to see this list-hopefully with lines crossed out- as I accomplish my 30 things at the age of 30.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Welcome to {sick} Grandmother's cottage

You know the story. A sweet, sweet girl goes traipsing through the woods with a basket-full of goodies to help her ailing grandmother. Along the way, she is stopped by a tricky wolf. The wolf figures out where she is going, runs ahead, gobbles up her grandmother and tricks the sweet girl into thinking HE is her grandmother. Then he gobbles her up. The woodsman hears the screaming and comes running. He finds the wolf asleep and super fat and figures out what happened. He cuts open the wolf and out pops Little Red & her grandmother.

A grim story? Yes. But freaking adorable for a first birthday party, in my not-so-expert opinion.

Emilia's bedroom is done in Little Red Riding-Hood. In the fabric choice for her bedding it's a fox not a wolf. Details, I say.Right after I knew she was a girl, probably 2 months into her little life I knew I would do a Little Red Riding-Hood party for her first birthday. Yes for a moment I highly considered Princess & the Pea but then remained true to me and did what I wanted.

I started party planning in like January. (Ridiculous, I know.) Knowing what I wanted the end product to look like made it easy to buy things when I saw that they would fit. I *knew* I wanted the food in baskets rather than serving platters. For the food? I *knew* I wanted home baked goods. Foods that you would take to your sick grandmother. I knew the candies would be red and white. Main colors? Red and white. There were a ton if things I just *knew* would be for this party. So here it is. I present Emilia's First Birthday! (sniff sniff)

First-the invite. My dear friend Sandy hand knit this amazing cloak to go with the theme of her room. It's so beautiful and something that we will keep for her, forever. My other friend Krista sewed the gorgeous quilt/blanket for Emilia. It's one of a kind and so full of love.

Here is the main table. I just realized I didn't get a photo of the pretty red and white candies. But just imagine cherry gummi bears, cherry rings, Swedish Fish or Fish if you're in Sweden, pinapple (white) gummi bears, white cheddar cheez-its.

I made a two layer carrot cake, mini carrot cake smash cake & carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese icing. ZOMG delish.

I made pumpkin cranberry scones, mini pumpkin muffins & cranberry bread mini loaves. We had {white} frosted cheerios, and gingersnaps & coconut jelly beans in the little tin that said her birthday. I sewed party bags from Onasburg plain cotton with red and white polka dotted ribbons. We had red and white polka dot plates, red gingham napkins and chevron and polka dot straws!

I am so thankful for everybody that took time out of their busy weekends to spend time with us and to celebrate Emilia's first birthday! I'm especially thankful that my sister Angee and her new husband Ray were able to come out for it! (They live in Washington state with the rest of our families and happened to be in St. Louis for the weekend for hockey & football games! Perfect timing universe! Thank you!!) And a special thank you to my party muse and BFF, Jackie! Thanks for talking me off my ledge several times during the planning of this party! <3 One year til Princess & The Pea! Or Alice in Wonderland!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

So we have this little, tiny bathroom.

It is small. And funnily colored. 

I just cannot figure out what it wants to be. The color is an off latte? It's not a bad color. It's just terribly hard to coordinate with. Add in the navy (yes navy!) tiled floor and it is a right disaster. So I'm thinking next up on my decorating spree is the baby bathroom. (Oh and did I mention it's the guest bathroom? The one on the main floor that everyone uses? Oh yeah, it is). 

This is the view from the door. 
And this is the view for the closet. It's TINY!
The tile, like I mentioned earlier is navy. We won't be changing that. Paint color? Since it's so small, that's definitely a possibility. 

I have a couple of thoughts running through my head. My ideas are probably terrible. The ideas from my friends, however, genius!

My idea:
A sort of icy blue-white wall. White frame around the mirror (would crown moulding work?!) keep the rug and towels we have. 
Ice rink blue. This is the shade I was thinking of! And it has a cute name. 

Brooke suggested black frames, black mirror frame. She likes the icy blue paint. 

Ambers idea (she's a decor genius so her idea is probably my best bet!)
Peacock. (For those that don't know I ❤️ Peacocks) 
Tealy wall color, peacock photos for decor, 

So what do you think? Ice rink? White accessories? Ice rink and black accessories? Peacock? Or something else! This house, man. 

Monday, October 21, 2013

Nursery decor

So I get it. Emilia, well, she's not really a *baby* any more. I mean she walk, talks (her own language) and wrestles her brothers. She comes over for uncoaxed hugs and kisses. And I'm just finishing up her nursery. Is it weird or acceptable to hang newborn photos in a one year olds room? I have so many of her and many that for perfectly within the theme of her room and even use fabric from her bedding, her furry wall hanging. They'll fit in decor wise, but is that weird? I finally found a rug for her room. $29 at Walmart?! I never really go there so I was super surprised to find the perfect rug there! I just happened to have some extra money from a session this weekend so it was perfect! 

So my question: 
Newborn photos in a nursery. 
Yes or No
Circle one. Or comment. 

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Sexy chicken

I don't know about you but I will do pretty much whatever it takes to get my children to eat food. I'm talking food-food. Not chicken nuggets, not pizza, or hotdogs but healthy, good for them food. You know like fruits and vegetables. Tonight I made a dinner with the impression that it would be pretty much only Barry and me eating it. I couldn't have been more wrong. 

Now a little backstory. Anytime Owen takes his shirt off, sees someone with his shirt off, or takes a label or wrapper off a drink he says, "I sexy and I know it, know it."  Every. Single. Time. I've taken to calling naked things sexy. My two year old is corrupting me! ;) (hey he listens to the glee version. No cussing!) 

Tonight I made marinated chicken breast tenderloins with brown rice and peas. I marinated the chicken breast in Trader Joe's soyaki sauce for about 24 hours. We were supposed to eat this dinner yesterday but didn't for whatever reason. Then I put them on a broiling pan lined with foil, because I'm lazzzzzy, and baked at 350 for about 25 minutes. 

I put a smallish tenderloin on each boys plate with a smallish serving of peas and rice. I expected whining and crying and gnashing of teeth. Times three. What happened was whining and crying and gnashing of teeth times 1. My oldest can sure be a picky pain in the butt.

Gabriel and Owen not only ate their entire plate minus a few random peas but asked for seconds on the sexy chicken nuggets. I told them it was sexy chicken because there was no bread. They totally believed me and gobbled up a healthy meal. Except for Julian. He got a rock. 

Here's 'sexy' Owen eating the crusts from his brothers' lunches we packed tonight. He decided bedtime was at about 10 instead of the 8 that I thought was more appropriate. 

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Broken & Warmed

Tonight, we found, out that along with countless other families, we will not be getting our Army National Guard stipend.  That's quite a chunk of our regularly scheduled income to just not get. I cried. I stressed. I hid. I felt nauseous as I tried to find a way to come up with the missing money. I contemplated canceling Emilia's birthday. I tried to remain calm in front of my children. I do not want them to ever worry about money or if we would have money to eat. However my facade was crystal clear and they saw right through me. Owen asked me not to cry whilst crying himself. Emilia was a monster today, clearly picking up on my stressful energy. Julian surprised me the most. 
He is a pretty typical kid.  Very much self involved and can be quite selfish. Tonight he showed me the kid his teachers see. The kind and caring one. The generous and sharing one. The kid that I rarely, if ever, see. 
I had gone into the bedroom to be alone and probably cry. Julian asked Barry why I was so upset. Barry explained that we get our Army money from the government. The government is shut down and we won't be getting any money until they get back to work. He told Julian we would have to be very careful with our money that we do have until we are able to get paid again. 
After a short car ride to drop some packages off at the post office and to buy some ice cream (hey don't judge. I eat my feelings sometimes) we came home. Julian went into the bathroom and came back out. He looked at me seriously and said, "Mom, you can knock out my teeth to get some money from the tooth fairy."  I started to bawl. Again. I was so touched and surprised by the complete unselfishness he displayed and his willingness to share. 
After talking it through and figuring out some numbers, we will be ok. My initial reaction was normal and typical but completely irrational. USAA is amazing and is offering loans to people that are being impacted by the government shut down. According to the lady that Barry talked to, the loans will be available to apply for once they have verified the LES. Ours says $0 by the way. That's always an exciting sight to behold. 
Tonight Julian showed me that he gets it. He is a kind and sharing boy. He is growing up before my eyes and I need to recognize his growth. I'm so lucky to have him, even when is is driving me crazy. Like every day. 

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Unleashed Pet Rescue

Today we spent the afternoon at Unleashed Pet Rescue They were having an adopt-a-thon with hopes of adopting 50 pets into their forever homes. We went there and knew we wouldn't be leaving without another member of our family. We've been considering adding a cat to our family for a while, only seriously in the past few months. I'm so happy that we chose a rescue cat. She is fully vetted, almost 6 months old and as sweet as can be! If you are considering a new pet, please consider rescuing from your local rescue or animal shelter, ASPCA or Humane Society.

So without further ado, I'd like to introduce you all to the newest member of our family, Bellatrix

Thursday, October 3, 2013

The tooth fairy wears purple.

Yesterday, Julian had a tooth extracted. He's had one pulled once before and we will just say it wasn't the most positive experience ever. He was very anxious to go to the dentist again and really didn't want them to take his tooth. A few weeks ago he started complaining about his back molar. A filling had fallen out and the tooth had become infected/abscessed. He was in a lot of pain and started an antibiotic quickly after with the extraction scheduled 10 days after the antibiotic. Yesterday at the dentist, he was a rockstar. He was definitely scared but brave. He made me really proud. He got to bring the tooth home, ew, and you can clearly see where the filling should have been. 

I don't know about your house but here the tooth fairy pays for dental assisted evacuations of teeth. She might even pay a little bit more than the average tooth for pain and suffering. So the tooth fairy made her fourth appearance at the Palizzi house last night. In exchange for a moldy molar, Julian got $5. 

Gabriel, who's been down with a fever all week, woke up SO excited. 
"Mommy, I SAW the tooth fairy!!"
"Oh..." I gulped, "You did?"
"Yes! She was beautiful. She had a crown and it went like this." He said as he made zigzag lines with his fingers. "She had a purple dress on and it had sparkles. And she was happy."
Swoon, dude. Swoon. 
Here's Julian with his tooth fairy pillow all ready to go. (Also notice the easy access. The tooth fairy stands about 3" tall so she can't be jumping over kids and lugging heavy teeth around)

A terribly unattractive photo of me and the sick boy who's going back to school tomorrow! He couldn't be happier!!

Owen had picture day. He is practicing his smile here. 
Today, after a month in preschool, he cried at school. His beloved Miss Ann made the grave mistake of giving Owen a big triangle on an orange piece of paper and not purple. He cried and said he wanted his mom. For a boy that refuses to hug or kiss me before leaving, I have to admit it made me a little happy. 
And this little bundle of smiles turned eleven months yesterday. I can't believe it. I am deep in the process of her first birthday. Cannot believe it. :/. 

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Locks of Love

So I did it. I cut it off. It has been nearly a week now and I can honestly say I'm loving my shorter hair. It's not SHORT by most standards but compared to my long locks of yesterday it's quite a change. My hair feels so amazing and healthy. I keep touching it, even a week later. I was terrified that I would have to DO my hair more, and 'ain't nobody got time for that' especially with about a thousand kids running around in the mornings. I've been pleasantly surprised at how little doing it has taken.

I know, I know you're probably dying for an after picture, ha. Unless you're on my facebook friends' list, then you've already seen it. I'm really proud of donating to locks of love. I feel like I did something good for ME, got out of my shell, my comfort zone and in the meantime did something great for someone in need.

If you're unsure of Locks of Love and what it is they do, read here! It's a great organization. And for the record, they DO accept colored or permed hair. And they take grey hair as well! (which is a good thing for some

Locks of Love

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Boc boc boc

That is me. I'm chickening out. I'm getting scared. I realized today how little I do to my hair on the day to day and I'm afraid that if I cut it, I'll have to DO it.

This is my hair, today. I didn't do anything to it, not even brushed it. I pinned my bangs back because they're too long to pull forward but not long enough to actually stay back by themselves.

If I cut my hair to look like the amazing Jennifer Aniston will I have that luxury?

I'm not saying I'm not going to do it. I'm just saying I'm scared! Help! Will I have to do my hair?

Monday, June 17, 2013


In one week, I have a hair appointment. I have a decision to make. Be safe and just cut a few inches off the bottom and call it good?  Be daring and cut it short and sassy and donate it to Locks of Love? Locks of Love requires at least 10". That will force me to cut my hair mighty short (comparatively). I found a cut I adore. But I'm just not sure that its going to look good on me. I feel like my hair is the only thing I've got going for me and that I'd be a fool to cut it. And then the other part of me thinks that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard and that it is ridiculous to be defined by one thing. Plus it's just hair right? It'll grow back. 
I'm leaving the decision to you. My blog reader. The one of you that actually reads my drivel.  My hair is long right now. It goes to my belly button. The top of my jeans. It is long. I feel like a mini crystal gale. 
Look at the top of my blog and add 2" to my hair length and that's what we are dealing with. 

So you tell me. Safe road? Keep it long and just trim off the dead ends? 

Or sassy road 
I just LOVE Jennifer Aniston. She has THE best hair. I don't know how many times I've used her as my hair inspo. This hair cut is so cute and so fresh. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid it looks a little like a "Mom" hair cut. Now I know, I know. I *am* in fact a mom. I don't want to look like a mom though, not like "oh you just had a baby let's chop our hair short" kinda mom. So to cut or not to cut. That is the question. And you have the answer. Leave me an answer! Tell me what to do!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


What do you do when you have everything, and I mean everything that you've ever wanted in life. And you're doing the thing that you've had every desire to do for as long as you can remember? For me that's motherhood. It's all I've ever wanted. I never had huge ambitions or the desire for further education. I wanted babies and to be a mom. Somedays, it is wonderful. Somedays I feel like I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. Somedays I feel like I might even be doing a decent job. It's the days when my kids are nice and respectful and kind. They listen to things that I ask them to do. They don't talk back, they might even eat their dinners. Those days I feel like I'm doing it right. The problem with those days is that they are few. And they are very far between. Most days I feel like I am doing absolutely nothing right. I feel like my kids could do so much better and that I did nothing to deserve them. (Really, that's true. I don't deserve them.) I feel like a failure. A big ol' fat loser. I'm the grumpy mom that says no. I'm the mean mom that I hate. I hate the mom that I am. I hate the wife that I am. I hate how I can hardly keep up with the bare minimums around my house. I am not good at the one thing I've ever wanted and it hurts. So bad. I try to remind myself that tomorrow's another day. And oh you will do better tomorrow, but if history is any indicator....the outlook is not so good. This stage of my life will be over before I know it, and I don't want to live with constant regret. I want to be the fun and kind mom, but I'm finding that's just not me. I'm a crappy mean mom. I'm a crappy house-keeper and grumpy wife. I feel like I'm still trying to keep all of these balls up in the air and failing. I drop one and I drop them all. To think I had the same issues almost 4 years ago and 2 less kids. I'll buckle down and power through. I do. I just, well, I just wish I was better at the one thing I've always wanted. The one desire of my heart. I wish that love was enough. I wish I could love myself into being a better mom. I wish it were simple.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Looking temptation square in the eyes

It's been a while  since I had a diet Pepsi. After five long years of being addicted I've finally broken the cycle. 
Barry has been really supportive and won't drink it around me. It's made it a ton easier to avoid it. I've been soda free for like 10 weeks now? Something like that. 
Today we were at Costco a they recently changed over from diet coke to Pepsi products. It was so hard to avoid it. I didn't. Despite the bubbly goodness that was located at my very table. I did it. I didn't drink any. 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Moving on up!

I officially have a kindergartener and a second grader. I'm not sure how that happened. Second grade sounds so old! 

Over the past week of summer vacation lots has happened. 

Julian learned to ride his bike without training wheels. We will be taking Gabriel's off soon enough. 

The boys had their first non competitive t-ball game. So cute. 

We drove to Des Moines for Hudson's third birthday.

We were able to enjoy the sun and hung out with our awesome neighbors. 

Bedtime has gotten later and amazingly my kids have learned a valuable life long skill. Sleeping-in. 

Barry started Internal Medicine again. It's my least favorite rotation for the schedule. Early mornings and late nights. Hoping we are able to survive the summer with most of my sanity in tact.