Long time coming

Have you ever loved something, a dress, some shorts, a pair of pants or top so much that you bought it even though it wasn't the most flattering thing? Ya know maybe it'll fit when I lose those last 5 lbs. it kinda fits, maybe some spanx will help. 

About 3 years ago I was in Tacoma with my best friend, Carly. I had never been to h&m so duh, we went. I found this dress that I just loved so much. And it was h&m so cheap. The only problem? They didn't have my size. So I did what any self respecting woman would do...bought the smaller size. I COULD wear it, sure there were lumps where there shouldn't be and it did nothing for my figure but hey I loved it and it was something ridiculous like $14.95. 

I've lost about 18 pounds since December. That translates to 2-3 sizes depending on which clothing brand you ask. I'm 2.4 lbs away from my goal weight and now focusing on toning my muscles and body.

Today, I tried on that h&m dress that I loved so much. Today, it fit. Today, despite poor food choices this weekend (hey family is town, that never happens!!) I am happy with the progress I have made on this journey towards fit. 

Birthday Musings

Today is my birthday. My thirtieth birthday. It's strange how when you get older birthdays become less of a thing. I'm just excited to enjoy my free birthday Starbucks, Red Robin, Culver's, etc. Yesterday I was able to sleep in and woke to two very excited school aged children that had created special birthday cards just for me.
Gabriel's was so typical Kindergartener. There were phonetically spelled words, backwards numbers. Seriously y'all swoon town.

Julian was a little more serious with a drawing of Angry Birds in a heart. (Can you tell what he's into these days?)

Barry brought me one of my favorite Christmas/winter treats, Panettone in bed with a diet pepsi. He knows me or something.

I've been thinking all week on the whole age of 30. It feels so big. So accomplished. Like such a milestone. I feel like I haven't accomplished a whole lot. (Before you say it, I know. I have 4 amazing kids. They are wonderful. I love them more than pecan pie.) I could write you a laundry list of things that I haven't accomplished by age 30, and it would seriously probably take years to read and write. However that would be pessimistic and frankly extremely depressing so I'm going to go another way with it.

I'm going to write a list of 30 things that I hope to accomplish by the time I'm 31.

1. Be kind. (I realize this isn't something measurable but it's something I want to do every day, all day, my entire life.)
2. Create.
3. Run or workout at least 3 days a week.
4. Wear a bikini and not feel ashamed of my stretch marks.
5. Really & truly love myself.
6. Read more.
7. Publish my novel.
8. Blog more. Because Facebook isn't the same.
9. Run a half marathon. (I'm giving myself some leeway here. I want to be able to run 13.1 miles. I understand that I might not be able to participate in an organized half due to Barry's crappy schedule.)
10. Get a tattoo.
11. See Justin Timberlake in concert on July 30th with Nicole!
12. Go on vacation.
13. Learn to bake a pecan pie. Baking pies scares the bejesus out of me.
14. Be present.
15. Read the entire Harry Potter Series. Again.
16. Read the entire Twilight Series. Again.
17. Wear red lipstick more.
18. CC&J
19. Bloom.
20. Take more pictures.
21. Bathroom reno.
22. Hallway photo display/arrangement?
23. Sew my Harry Potter quilt for sofa.
24. NaNoWriMo 2014.
25. Visit Washington.
26. Learn how to take care of my skin. Hey I'm 30 now it's no time to slack.
27. Do something amazing for my husband.
28. Go to a game- football, baseball, soccer? Whatevs.
29. DIY my bathroom.
30. Stop biting my nails.

I don't think that accomplishing this list will make 31 seem like less of a big number. I'm not delusional. I feel like accomplishing this list will make me feel like I've done something. SOME. THING.

I'm surprised that turning 30 isn't causing as much of an emotional freakout as I was anticipating. Be prepared to see this list-hopefully with lines crossed out- as I accomplish my 30 things at the age of 30.

Welcome to {sick} Grandmother's cottage

You know the story. A sweet, sweet girl goes traipsing through the woods with a basket-full of goodies to help her ailing grandmother. Along the way, she is stopped by a tricky wolf. The wolf figures out where she is going, runs ahead, gobbles up her grandmother and tricks the sweet girl into thinking HE is her grandmother. Then he gobbles her up. The woodsman hears the screaming and comes running. He finds the wolf asleep and super fat and figures out what happened. He cuts open the wolf and out pops Little Red & her grandmother.

A grim story? Yes. But freaking adorable for a first birthday party, in my not-so-expert opinion.

Emilia's bedroom is done in Little Red Riding-Hood. In the fabric choice for her bedding it's a fox not a wolf. Details, I say.Right after I knew she was a girl, probably 2 months into her little life I knew I would do a Little Red Riding-Hood party for her first birthday. Yes for a moment I highly considered Princess & the Pea but then remained true to me and did what I wanted.

I started party planning in like January. (Ridiculous, I know.) Knowing what I wanted the end product to look like made it easy to buy things when I saw that they would fit. I *knew* I wanted the food in baskets rather than serving platters. For the food? I *knew* I wanted home baked goods. Foods that you would take to your sick grandmother. I knew the candies would be red and white. Main colors? Red and white. There were a ton if things I just *knew* would be for this party. So here it is. I present Emilia's First Birthday! (sniff sniff)

First-the invite. My dear friend Sandy hand knit this amazing cloak to go with the theme of her room. It's so beautiful and something that we will keep for her, forever. My other friend Krista sewed the gorgeous quilt/blanket for Emilia. It's one of a kind and so full of love.

Here is the main table. I just realized I didn't get a photo of the pretty red and white candies. But just imagine cherry gummi bears, cherry rings, Swedish Fish or Fish if you're in Sweden, pinapple (white) gummi bears, white cheddar cheez-its.





I made a two layer carrot cake, mini carrot cake smash cake & carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese icing. ZOMG delish.

I made pumpkin cranberry scones, mini pumpkin muffins & cranberry bread mini loaves. We had {white} frosted cheerios, and gingersnaps & coconut jelly beans in the little tin that said her birthday. I sewed party bags from Onasburg plain cotton with red and white polka dotted ribbons. We had red and white polka dot plates, red gingham napkins and chevron and polka dot straws!

I am so thankful for everybody that took time out of their busy weekends to spend time with us and to celebrate Emilia's first birthday! I'm especially thankful that my sister Angee and her new husband Ray were able to come out for it! (They live in Washington state with the rest of our families and happened to be in St. Louis for the weekend for hockey & football games! Perfect timing universe! Thank you!!) And a special thank you to my party muse and BFF, Jackie! Thanks for talking me off my ledge several times during the planning of this party! <3 One year til Princess & The Pea! Or Alice in Wonderland!

So we have this little, tiny bathroom.

It is small. And funnily colored. 

I just cannot figure out what it wants to be. The color is an off latte? It's not a bad color. It's just terribly hard to coordinate with. Add in the navy (yes navy!) tiled floor and it is a right disaster. So I'm thinking next up on my decorating spree is the baby bathroom. (Oh and did I mention it's the guest bathroom? The one on the main floor that everyone uses? Oh yeah, it is). 

This is the view from the door. 

And this is the view for the closet. It's TINY!

The tile, like I mentioned earlier is navy. We won't be changing that. Paint color? Since it's so small, that's definitely a possibility. 

I have a couple of thoughts running through my head. My ideas are probably terrible. The ideas from my friends, however, genius!

My idea:

A sort of icy blue-white wall. White frame around the mirror (would crown moulding work?!) keep the rug and towels we have. 

Ice rink blue. This is the shade I was thinking of! And it has a cute name. 

Brooke suggested black frames, black mirror frame. She likes the icy blue paint. 

Ambers idea (she's a decor genius so her idea is probably my best bet!)

Peacock. (For those that don't know I ❤️ Peacocks) 

Tealy wall color, peacock photos for decor, 

So what do you think? Ice rink? White accessories? Ice rink and black accessories? Peacock? Or something else! This house, man. 

Nursery decor

So I get it. Emilia, well, she's not really a *baby* any more. I mean she walk, talks (her own language) and wrestles her brothers. She comes over for uncoaxed hugs and kisses. And I'm just finishing up her nursery. Is it weird or acceptable to hang newborn photos in a one year olds room? I have so many of her and many that for perfectly within the theme of her room and even use fabric from her bedding, her furry wall hanging. They'll fit in decor wise, but is that weird? I finally found a rug for her room. $29 at Walmart?! I never really go there so I was super surprised to find the perfect rug there! I just happened to have some extra money from a session this weekend so it was perfect! 

So my question: 

Newborn photos in a nursery. 

Yes or No

Circle one. Or comment. 

Sexy chicken

I don't know about you but I will do pretty much whatever it takes to get my children to eat food. I'm talking food-food. Not chicken nuggets, not pizza, or hotdogs but healthy, good for them food. You know like fruits and vegetables. Tonight I made a dinner with the impression that it would be pretty much only Barry and me eating it. I couldn't have been more wrong. 

Now a little backstory. Anytime Owen takes his shirt off, sees someone with his shirt off, or takes a label or wrapper off a drink he says, "I sexy and I know it, know it."  Every. Single. Time. I've taken to calling naked things sexy. My two year old is corrupting me! ;) (hey he listens to the glee version. No cussing!) 

Tonight I made marinated chicken breast tenderloins with brown rice and peas. I marinated the chicken breast in Trader Joe's soyaki sauce for about 24 hours. We were supposed to eat this dinner yesterday but didn't for whatever reason. Then I put them on a broiling pan lined with foil, because I'm lazzzzzy, and baked at 350 for about 25 minutes. 

I put a smallish tenderloin on each boys plate with a smallish serving of peas and rice. I expected whining and crying and gnashing of teeth. Times three. What happened was whining and crying and gnashing of teeth times 1. My oldest can sure be a picky pain in the butt.

Gabriel and Owen not only ate their entire plate minus a few random peas but asked for seconds on the sexy chicken nuggets. I told them it was sexy chicken because there was no bread. They totally believed me and gobbled up a healthy meal. Except for Julian. He got a rock. 

Here's 'sexy' Owen eating the crusts from his brothers' lunches we packed tonight. He decided bedtime was at about 10 instead of the 8 that I thought was more appropriate. 

Broken & Warmed

Tonight, we found, out that along with countless other families, we will not be getting our Army National Guard stipend.  That's quite a chunk of our regularly scheduled income to just not get. I cried. I stressed. I hid. I felt nauseous as I tried to find a way to come up with the missing money. I contemplated canceling Emilia's birthday. I tried to remain calm in front of my children. I do not want them to ever worry about money or if we would have money to eat. However my facade was crystal clear and they saw right through me. Owen asked me not to cry whilst crying himself. Emilia was a monster today, clearly picking up on my stressful energy. Julian surprised me the most. 

He is a pretty typical kid.  Very much self involved and can be quite selfish. Tonight he showed me the kid his teachers see. The kind and caring one. The generous and sharing one. The kid that I rarely, if ever, see. 

I had gone into the bedroom to be alone and probably cry. Julian asked Barry why I was so upset. Barry explained that we get our Army money from the government. The government is shut down and we won't be getting any money until they get back to work. He told Julian we would have to be very careful with our money that we do have until we are able to get paid again. 

After a short car ride to drop some packages off at the post office and to buy some ice cream (hey don't judge. I eat my feelings sometimes) we came home. Julian went into the bathroom and came back out. He looked at me seriously and said, "Mom, you can knock out my teeth to get some money from the tooth fairy."  I started to bawl. Again. I was so touched and surprised by the complete unselfishness he displayed and his willingness to share. 

After talking it through and figuring out some numbers, we will be ok. My initial reaction was normal and typical but completely irrational. USAA is amazing and is offering loans to people that are being impacted by the government shut down. According to the lady that Barry talked to, the loans will be available to apply for once they have verified the LES. Ours says $0 by the way. That's always an exciting sight to behold. 

Tonight Julian showed me that he gets it. He is a kind and sharing boy. He is growing up before my eyes and I need to recognize his growth. I'm so lucky to have him, even when is is driving me crazy. Like every day.