Tuesday, November 4, 2008

You know what's crazy?

How much power strangers have over us (by "us" I mean me.)

Today, after preschool, which I'll blog about later, Julian, Gabriel and I went to the zoo to meet Carter, Benton and their mommy, Mandy. We get to the zoo only to find out that during the winter, it's only open 10-4 Thursday-Sunday. Bummer disappointment #1. Mandy saved the day by pointing out that there was a park not too far from the zoo that we could play at. Our weather is about 73 today! So I literally, wrestled Julian into the car. He was absolutely grief stricken that the zoo was closed and that he couldn't see the animals. Once we drove the 30 seconds to the park, he was fine, and excited to play on the swings and slide, etc. When we got to the park there was one family there, with a little boy a little older than Julian. In the time we were there, that family had left, and another family with a little girl and boy came. The little girl was probably about 15-18 months, and the little boy appeared to be about 4.

So Julian and Carter, who are BFF, were running round, playing, sliding, swinging, you know, being 2 year old boys. Julian was screaming, yelling and being crazy. Well, Julian wanted to play with the 4 year old boy, and was screaming/yelling, and trying to engage this older boy to play. It didn't work. Julian was swinging his leg, and kicking the rocks, and accidentally kicked some onto the older boy. I immediately pulled him from the situation, and took him to the table for a time out. (Ok so I don't know if it was an accident, the rock kicking, but he's 2.) I told him that he can't scream at people, and that it absolutely wasn't ok to kick rocks on people. He sat there for a few minutes, calming down. He was so amped. After he was calm, I told him to find the boy and tell him that he was sorry.

So about the same time I told Julian to tell the boy he was sorry, the boy had to pee. The bathrooms were a good football field away, and up a hill, and locked. So, the boy and his mom ran up there, and Julian followed, because I told him to go tell him he was sorry. So I let J run for a bit, because seriously there was nothing to hurt him there, and I could still see him. When he was getting close to the building, I started running after him to catch him. So I ran to the building, caught him, and was playing 'hide and seek' around the building with him.

The mom of the 4 year old says to me (snottily it seemed) "Wow you have your hands full with him." I replied, "Uhm, not really. He's a sweet boy. And he hasn't had his nap yet." She says, "No, he's busy." I was shocked, and offended, and hurt, and embarrassed, and pretty much wanted to crawl up into a hole and hide, but I said, "No. He's not." And just walked away.

This lady does know me, or my son from anyone, yet she thinks that she has the right and authority to tell me about my kid? Yes, he's 2. Yes, he can definitely be a handful, but to generalize him like that, and to LABEL him, without knowing him, really made me mad.

I chased Julian down the hill, and then asked Mandy if Julian is a bad kid and I just didn't know, because I was his mom, and she said he wasn't.

I seriously felt like crying. I felt like this lady, who I don't know, and obviously don't want to know, called me out on every single parenting mistake I have ever made. Now I know I'm being dramatic, but seriously, who is she to judge my kid, thus judging me?!

Anyway, this has taught me a lesson. I need to let my skin thicken up a bit. I need to not take everything so personally. I need to realize that there are going to be people out there that do not like me or my kids. And I need to realize that those people,that don't like us, are missing out on something really great.

8 comments:

Sara said...

What a cow. Seriously, Julian is a 2-year old. Don't let mean people get you down.

Sara

Stacy said...

I have stopped listening to and caring about what other mom's say...or think. It seems like you get ALOT of that woman's attitude in preschool. I just can't stand the competition either. Sometimes when I am standing in the hall waiting to pick Tavin up, I seriously start laughing at their converstations. I am sorry that happened to you. Julian is a great kid!

Keren said...

oh my goodness. If Julian is a handful, Jacob must be a natural disaster...LOL! Im like you though, I care too much what people say, unfortunatley :( Im sorry hun, she has no idea what she's talking about!!

Angela said...

Oh, Christia, I'm sorry. Hugs.

You know, that is one of the things that probably scares me the most about Benjamin's growing up--other people's perceptions of him and how it will affect him, me, Matthew, and even Andrew. People can be so ignorant and rude.

james and natalie said...

are you kidding me? julian is such a cutie! this is sort of dorky but i think about him every time i feed scott because from the corner of my eye the picture of the boy on the cereal box sort of looks like him. but then i look straight at it and (i'm not just saying this) julian is much cuter. which brings me to another point... feeding. i always get so paranoid that people are judging me for giving scott formula. they don't know the whole story. they don't know how much i tried. but i still feel like people are looking at me differently. but maybe its just in my head. hmmm. anyway, i don't think anyone knows what they're doing really. we're just all doing the best we can. and i think you're doing an A+ job. that sounded so dorky... something a mom would say... like an old mom. okay, suddenly this has turned into an essay. i'm done.

Rhonda said...

sweetheart, please try and not take things to heart. Hes a wonderful sweet kind hearted boy. There are sooooo many icky people out there!Love you Mom

Rhonda said...

Do NOT take it to heart! There are just some icky people out there...Hes a wonderful boy! The other mother should keep her thoughts to herself!!Love YOU!

The Cooks said...

Parenting is tricky...especially when other people place unwanted opinions on you, whether they are complete strangers, neighbors, or relatives. You just have to choose to ignore and not be offended (that is how I survive at least, sometimes it does hurt still). You are a great Mom and your kids are great too. If other Mothers have the gall to judge your child/parenting to make themselves feel better...well, let's just say they have bigger problems on there hands (that was my nice way of putting it).